March 2010 Archives

It's rough.  I don't know how many times I have mourned the loss of my old life and my ability to do as I please, accomplish things as I see fit.  I got so incredibly nervous as Melchi's due date neared, feeling so unprepared.  Afterward, I had silent fits as the house sat a wreck for months (and don't even get me started on the unorganized areas).  I've had non-silent tirades about my frustrations, which poor Melchi and Mike have had to endure.

Sometimes, the response I get is to do the popular American think, which is to think we can have children conveniently and simply shuffle them off to the sidelines of life as babies while we continue as normal, almost as if nothing miraculous happened when they came into our lives.  Meanwhile, many mothers in this country quietly make their children the center of their lives, whether they always enjoy this or not.  We do this because we feel it's the right thing to do and that there is no other option.  We realize that as they grow older, we'll have more "free time" to do our own thing again.  But when the situation demands it, we must put aside some of our tasks to tend to the emotional needs of a baby.  At times, we must also ignore the house as we catch up on our sleep.

What I'm saying is, yes, I haven't had a day without Melchi since he was born, and I don't want one.  But I have minimum periods of time that I require here and there alone to feel "normal" again.  Even so, I don't feel like my mental mom conversion is complete, but I'm a lot farther along than I was several months ago.

Today, another sunny Friday, we all hit Albany.  Mike worked in the coffeehouse while Melchi and I went shopping.  For the first time in 179 years, I went antique/junk browsing.  Albany has a number of stores in this range.  I was in the market for egg cups and small wooden furniture appropriate for a certain cutie to climb on, but no dice.  

Oh, but I did find some lovely things for Melchi in the downtown toy store!  You'll notice that we have a certain animal obsession around here: I got squirting tub toys (3 pigs), a bubble wand, and a Wheely Cow.  What's that, you say?  http://wheelybug.com/products.html  It was difficult to choose, but in the end, the Holstein won.  I think these are the same little cars Melchi and I encountered at the Play Factory in Corvallis last week, when I thought he might get run over in the little car area (too many older kids for babies to feel safe).  Speaking of such outings, Melchi is a sociable child with no sign of separation anxiety, as he crawls away from me speedily to make new friends.  How this happened from me and Mike, I'll never know.

Our current hens continue to produce more than enough eggs for our use.  Thank you, chickens!  We appreciate you!